Things I hate about chavs

  •  Chavs wear cheap sportswear.

You’ve obviously never seen the inside of gym in your life. The “trackie bottoms” tucked in to your socks. Why? WHY? And you know what? Wearing a baseball cap and hoodie makes you look like a duck.

  • Chavs use personal drama to impress others.

“Yeah, well from the age of one I was beaten, shot, stabbed and made to eat sawdust..”. Wow. No way. I’m just going to stand over here now..

  • Chavs play tinny R&B on cellphones.

Get some taste, and some headphones. Really.

  • Chavs use “connections” to impress others.

“Do you know the Smiths..? What about the Jones..? Wicked.”

 There are no chavs here in the Mead Hall. They have their own afterlife, which is basically a huge McDonalds in the sky. They stand outside it and pose whilst smoking cigarettes and pretending to fight. They might go inside and huddle around a coffee for a few hours if it’s especially cold.


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